I’ve been working on this whole ‘building a tribe’ thing, and I’m exhausted. Making friends and building relationships is so hard as an adult. Shouldn’t they be teaching this in school or something?
Anyways, in efforts to build mah tribe, I joined some new Facebook groups to meet mom’s who I may have some similar interests with. The funny, or totally not so funny, thing about the new groups? The hot topics were the same recently. They were both talking about being undervalued on Mother’s Day.
Let me put this in perspective, these weren’t women who just didn’t get what they wanted. They weren’t just being Negative Nancy’s and/or Spoiled Sam’s.
These were women who were asking advice on how they should feel about a spouse who wasn’t interested in celebrating Mother’s Day with their wives. Women who felt bad for being jealous of other mom’s who received celebratory gifts. Women who were upset because it was treated as ‘just another day’. Women who didn’t want to feel let down by their loved ones, but did.
I was really thinking, “Man, if that was my husband, I would have sucker punched him in the throat.” But I felt for these moms.
While I think Mother’s Day is great, I also think it’s a little overrated. We don’t go all out, I really just want time from my family. Most importantly, I want to feel valued, I want to feel loved, I want to feel appreciated. Honestly, you don’t have to buy me anything, just give me a little extra time.
7 Things To Do When You Feel Unappreciated
1. Assess the situation
Take a step back and look at the picture as a whole. Try your best to look the situation as an outsider. Did the person(s) intend to make you feel this way? Do the individuals involved know how you felt about this particular dilemma? Family and close friends don’t usually intend to hurt us, take that into consideration. Acquaintances may not know you well enough. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
2. Evaluate yourself
Could you be overthinking it? Is it possible that you may be a little sensitive? This may not apply, but before you blame those around you, it’s always good to apply those same standards to yourself. To use that righteous judgement, we’ve got to find ourselves faultless.
3. Be open minded
Sometimes things don’t always go the way we planned. Sometimes our plans just flat out fail. Be sure that you can find joy in things around you, even when you’re disappointed. This is especially true for mothers. We always have little eyes watching our every move and hearing our every word, show them that good can be found in any situation.
4. Perspective is key
It seems trivial to want recognition, but it’s true. It’s bred in us to want appreciation, to want to feel valued as a person. But instead of creating your own mulligrubs, take the time to invest in someone else. Practice treating others how you want to be treated. Let those around you know how much you appreciate them and let that love and appreciation drive them to respect you.
5. Talk it out
If someone has made you feel undervalued, take time to talk it out with that person. Be compassionate, be loving. Maybe they didn’t mean to make you feel that way. Be open, tell them what made you upset and how it made you feel. Open a dialogue that helps to ensure that both parties are free from hard feelings.
If you’re not sure how to handle the situation, ask the Lord for guidance. He is faithful, His love endures, His patience is unending, and His grace unyielding. He can strengthen, encourage or send peace.
7. Read your Bible
When I feel lonely, or discouraged, or if I’m just looking for guidance, I always look for scripture to encourage me. 1 Corinthians 12 talks about the body of Christ. It tells us that all the pieces are needed, even those that don’t seem like much, they each serve a role that another could not take. Be encouraged, despite how you feel, you’re needed and loved by the One who made you.
Be encouraged! I think we’ve all faced a time in life where we have felt undervalued or underappreciated. Know that you are not alone, and you’re feeling are worthy of acknowledgement.
“The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee in singing.” Zephaniah 3:17