I see you, mama. It’s 10 p.m. and you still have showered but the house is just beginning to get quiet and you’re fighting the urge to nod off right where you stand. You’re weighing the costs of taking that shower and losing the sleep or taking the sleep and hoping for a 5-minute shower sometime tomorrow.
I see you, mama. Struggling to balance homemaking, motherhood and the workforce. Constantly worrying about how the check that is paying your bills is coming at the expense of that time with your children, and it’s left you wondering if it’s really worth it all.
I see you, mama. Homeschooling your kids, cooking dinner, grocery shopping and buckling all.the.car.seats. Rocking a babe and cleaning the house, fixing the toys and kissing the boo-boos. Field trips, library visits, play dates, doctors appointments, park days, nap times, and unannounced visitors at the worst times.
I see you, mama. I see you fighting to keep your spiritual life alive. I see you struggling to find that time with The Father. I see you taking a moment to breathe amongst the chaos and wishing you could just have a few minutes with the Lord.
I see you scrounging for the tidbits that you’re able to grasp during the service and trying to hush that babe in the nursery so you might catch a few morsels of the message. I see you trying to lift your hands in worship between bathroom breaks and attention taps from disgruntled toddlers.
I see you thinking about how your spiritual life is lacking since you had kids.
I see how your heart breaks and you just want to give up. I see how every day it gets easier to pass it up because you can’t focus or you don’t get anywhere, or those few minutes just don’t seem to matter. I see how the enemy plays tricks on your mind and how unworthy it all makes you feel.
I’m with you, mama.
You feel alone and sometimes even depressed, maybe even oppressed. You’re trying to raise little disciples. You’re trying to do right and show right and be right, but how do you find all the time when the days are fleeting.
You’re teaching them that they should pray, how to pray, leading them in prayers. You’re telling them about the Bible, teaching them to apply the scripture, and reading it to them. You’re taking them to church and Sunday School, VBS and AWANA, but your own spiritual life is lacking since you had kids.
How can you be doing all of this but feel so empty? How can you teach this to your children, when your struggling to do it yourself? How can you live a life that points to Christ when your spiritual life is dying, and it feels like you are too? But there’s one thing that you really need to know.
God understands. He knows just where you are and how you feel, and thankfully, He gives us a lot of grace.
He sees what we do for our families, and with good intentions, and real desires to seek Him, He understands. But it is so important for our children to both see and hear us making time for the Lord, even if they don’t understand it.
Each day, carve out that time with God. It may seem impossible at first but keep at it. It may be very rare that it is without interruptions, and you may feel like you never break through, and sometimes you might just cry because of desiring that time with the Lord- but God sees that.
It may not be quiet, but keep your mind on God. Ask Him to help you. It may be with a with a baby in tow, but that baby may become a great warrior in prayer because of your dedication. Maybe it’s 10 minutes here and there, but make the most of each of those 10 minutes. Because God sees all of that, and so do your children.
They see you making God a priority. They see how much that time means to you. They see how you are made new after you’ve spent time with the Creator. They see your pressing, your pursuing, your dedication. And they may not understand it, but they see it.
By fighting through, you’ll become so much more disciplined in seeking God, no matter the distractions because you never know how long you have.
Instead of picking up that phone and scrolling through Facebook, open your Bible and take those few minutes in His word. When you’re stirring a pot, don’t let the thoughts of everything that is to come occupy your mind, take those few minutes to worship God.
Instead of turning on that television, or binge-watching another show on Netflix, turn on some music and think on Christ as you finish your day. Even if you’re busy, the words, the melodies, the tunes, they’ll fill your mind and bring peace in the midst of the crazy.
There will be days where your prayer time is refreshing and restoring, where you feel like you’ve broken through and the distractions were surpassed because the joy of the Lord filled the room. But more times than you’d like, things won’t go as planned and you may just feel even more broken.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not justifying short prayers or a lacking prayer life, and I’m not saying it’s ok. I’m not giving you an unending grace. But I am saying that it’s a season, and it’s a hard one, but God knows our desires and sees our hearts- and that’s something to find joy in.
Remember, not only are we trying to raise littles with a heart after God, but we have to live that by being an example to them. The enemy is going to fight us at every hand! But know that because the enemy is fighting, you’re on the right path! In the end, He doesn’t win! This won’t be always!
Let them see you praying in the altars, being a light unto others, worshipping the Lord and seeking God with your whole heart- even if it is with one on hip and ten in tow. The attack on your spiritual life is more real than ever, but greater is the reward for your faithfulness unto God and trusting in His promises!