Cultivating a Christ-Centered Marriage, Even When You’re Still Single
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There is one piece of advice that I can give any person, and it always fits. No matter what situation you find yourself in, no matter what stage of life you are, no matter what happens.
This one piece of advice is no respecter of persons and it’s one of the most important things that you could ever do for yourself, and for your future Christ-centered marriage.
That single piece of advice is: Put Christ First. Christ comes before anything else in your life, and when you put Him first, everything else seems to just fall in line. When the God of Heaven is at the center of your being, everything else revolves around Him.
When your core is Christ, your life is Christ’s.
So what’s the key to having a Christ-centered marriage? Personally, I think it’s to prepare yourself to be the bride of Christ first and then He’ll prepare you to be the bride of the perfect man, for you, in the process. Which means you should be preparing your single self for a Christ-centered marriage, right now.
But how do you do that? How do you prepare for marriage if you’re single? How do you assemble your life for someone you don’t know? How do you formulate the perfect relationship without a mate in sight?
You don’t. You let God prepare you.
How do you prepare for a Christ-centered marriage when you’re single?
1. Give Yourself to God
If there is one thing I will never regret, it is giving my heart to Christ at a young age. If anything, I wish I would have done it before my teenage years. There was no job, no priorities, no bills or commitments, it was just me and God.
I was able to learn about Him with an open heart, an open mind, and no distractions. I was able to find myself through faith in God and get myself rooted before life took a swing at me. I accredit my faith today on those times that I spent with The Lord.
I found that God took care of even the petty things that a child cares about. So much so, it has increased my faith so much more to look back and have a testimony of a clean history, and a well-written future.
There will come a time where you will long to be in His presence, a time where life throws you for a loop, and a place that seems like time just passes by so swiftly. It’ll be in the hard times that you will remember that storehouse.
Those many nights that you prayed without ceasing and when immeasurable answers were given. You’ll need that foundation, that storehouse, that remembrance, through your adult years.
2. Be Present Where God Has You
There will be plenty of time to grow up. PLENTY. Once you do, there is no going back. So be silly, be spontaneous, be vibrant. Figure out who you are in Christ and find out who Christ aspires to be.
Hang out with your friends. Stay up until the wee hours of the morning and sleep till the afternoon. Binge watch all the Netflix shows and eat all the junk. Make memories.
Don’t let the feelings that you need a companion overwhelm you and wait upon the Lord. Seek His will and His way for your life while you are still young and all things will fall in line.
Surround yourself with influences that have the same convictions as you and let nothing sway your faith. Go to all the youth rallies, camp meetings, youth camps and all the things that the Lord leads you to.
There comes a time in adulthood where responsibilities are innumerable and finances are slim. A time where your heart longs for the company of a faraway friend. You’ll remember these times, and they will carry you.
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3. Find Your Worth In Christ
When you give yourself to God and allow yourself to be present, and content, where He has you- that’s where you’ll truly find the joy and happiness that God intends for His people to live in. You’ll find your worth in His calling.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I remember having a talk with someone before that just couldn’t see how God’s plan didn’t line up to make them happy. Why can’t they have what everyone has? Love and companionship in a way that made them happy.
But the honest answer is, God doesn’t have the same outline for everyone. His plan isn’t always companionship, marriage, and family. And is that easy? And is that fair? In the flesh, no. It’s a hard truth to accept.
But we must remember that God created us for His glory. This world, this life is only temporal. For Christians, this life is but a vapor compared to Heaven.
Don’t let discouragement creep in when your life doesn’t pan out the way that you thought. Christ is the great author and His plan is perfect. When we trust that He knows best, we’ll find that His way is better than we could have ever imagined.
You’ll never be happier than you will be when you accept the person that God created you to be.
4. If you date, do it with purpose
Don’t go out looking for a companion. Be intent to find God’s plan and let Him, if that’s His plan, lead you to a potential spouse. And if do think that someone is worthy of your time, don’t rush into things.
Learn about each other, become friends, talk about what you expect of a spouse- or a potential candidate of your heart, and let them know how you intend to live. Talk about how you intend to run a home and your views on politics and other real-world events.
– Guard your heart. Don’t allow the enemy to use your own desires as a way to persuade you from the Lord.
– Your time is unto God, and if there is a potential mate, He will respect your walk with the Lord.
– Pray about it. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, be sure you’re entering into a courtship (relationship with intent to marry), with God’s approval.
In all that you do, remember that our bodies are temples. They are to be cherished and saved for marriage.
The Christian life is servanthood. Serving Christ, serving your family, serving your community and serving a lost and dying world. Marriage and motherhood is no different.
Spend your time serving others, cultivate that servants heart that Christ desires us to have. Learn how to give of yourself, and your time unto others.
Serving teaches us to not be so involved with ourselves; serving teaches us humility and self-confidence, helps to give us joy in finding a purpose, and helps us to feel grateful for our blessings.
Not only is it what all Christians should do, but it helps you to learn how to serve your future family.
Cultivating a Christ-centered marriage, even when you’re single, is so important. There is nothing better than choosing to dedicate your life to Christ so that he can prepare you to be what He has called, and when the perfect match- the one that He has chosen- comes along, you’ll be ready.