There is one piece of advice that I can give any person, and it always fits. No matter what situation you find yourself in, no matter what stage of life you are, no matter what happens. This one piece of advice is no respecter of persons and it’s one of the most important things that you could ever do for yourself, and for your future Christ-centered marriage.
That single piece of advice is: Put Christ First. Christ comes before anything else in your life, and when you put Him first, everything else seems to just fall in line. When the God of Heaven is at the center of your being, everything else revolves around Him. When your core is Christ, your life is Christ’s.
So what’s the key to having a Christ-centered marriage? Personally, I think it’s to prepare yourself to be the bride of Christ first and then He’ll prepare you to be the bride of the perfect man in the process. Which mean you should be preparing your single self for a Christ-centered marriage, right now.
But how do you do that? How do you prepare for marriage if you’re single? How do you assemble your life for someone you don’t know? How do you formulate the perfect relationship without a mate in sight?
You don’t. You let God prepare you.
How do you prepare for a Christ-centered marriage when you’re single?
1. Find yourself in God.
If there is one thing I will never regret, it is giving my heart to Christ at a young age. If anything, I wish I would have done it before my teenage years. There was no job, no priorities, no bills or commitments, it was just me and God. I was able to learn about Him with an open heart, an open mind, and no distractions. I was able to find myself through faith in God and get myself rooted before life took a swing at me. I accredit my faith today on those times that I spent with Him. I found that God took care of even the petty things that a child cares about. So much so, it has increased my faith so much more to look back and have a testimony of a clean history and a well-written future.
There will come a time where you will long to be in His presence, a time where life throws you for a loop, and a place that seems like time just passes by so swiftly. It’ll be in the hard times that you will remember that storehouse, those many nights that you prayed without ceasing and when immeasurable answers were given. You’ll need that foundation, that storehouse, that remembrance, through your adult years.
2. Be young.
There will be plenty of time to grow up. PLENTY. Once you do, there is no going back. So be silly, be spontaneous, be vibrant. Figure out who you are in Christ and find out who Christ aspires to be. Hang out with your friends. Stay up until the wee hours of the morning and sleep till the afternoon. Binge watch all the Netflix shows and eat all the junk. Make memories. Don’t feel the need of a companion and wait upon the Lord. Seek His will and His way for your life while you are still young and all things will fall in line. Surround yourself with influences that have the same convictions as you and let nothing sway your faith. Go to all the youth rallies, camp meetings, youth camps and all the things that the Lord leads you to,
because there comes a time were responsibilities are innumerable and finances are slim. A time where your heart longs for the company of a faraway friend. You’ll remember these times, and they will carry you.
3. Be the you that Christ intends.
You know that saying “Be you, because everyone else is already taken“, well it’s very true. Nobody likes a faker. Be who God intended you to be. Being someone else won’t make you happy. The grass isn’t greener on the other side- it’ll fade no matter where you stand. You’ll have good days and bad, just like anyone else. But you’ll feel better knowing that you were true to you. You’ll never be happier than you will be when you accept the person that God created you to be.
4. If you date, do it with purpose.
Don’t go out looking for a companion. Have you seen the meme running around that says “Run as fast as you can toward God, and if someone keeps up, introduce yourself.” I couldn’t have said it better. Don’t date just anybody, think “Do I see myself potentially marrying this person?” If the answer is no, keep it moving. If your views don’t align, neither will your marriage. Learn about each other, become friends, talk about what you expect of a spouse or a potential candidate of your heart and let them know how you intend to live. Talk about how you intend to run a home and your views on politics and other real-world events. Remember that marriage is a lifetime commitment, not just a gathering ceremony.
5. Treat others how you want to be treated.
“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” Luke 6:31
There’s nothing better than having someone you respect, respect you. A stranger who was simply polite, that makes you smile. A friend who was compassionate, even when you didn’t deserve it. A love for your neighbor that shows no bounds. Being shown patience in a time of struggle. Being rewarded for doing something ordinary. Showing humility when it hurts. Giving, even when times are tough. Obeying, even when you don’t understand. Being forgiven by an eternal God, being loved by an everlasting Savior, being saved by an undeserved grace. These things compel us to show Christ in a dying world. If you were lost, wouldn’t you want to know about Salvation? If you were bound, wouldn’t you want to know how to be set free? Show others, share with others, be what God called us to be and be that vessel He can work through.
Preparing yourself for a Christ-centered marriage, even when you’re single, is so important. There is nothing better than choosing to dedicate your life to Christ so that he can prepare you to be what He has called, and when the perfect match (the one that He has chosen) comes along, you’ll be ready.